Confidence, Courage and Commitment...

I had a whole big post waiting to go today, but after seeing a recent Facebook post from my 22 year old beautiful daughter, I have put that aside and will highlight her story.

In a nutshell, Mackenzie, our first born, was a healthy infant, toddler and pre-teen…then, like so many teens, she struggled. She loved her Doritos, ice cream and fast food. Some of her friends could binge and not gain a pound. Some of her friends ate minuscule meals at school while she sat by and felt terrible that she was eating a “full lunch”. We never pressured, protested or pushed her to look a certain way. We loved (and love) her for exactly who she is. No Matter what.

I cringe when I think about my daughter’s challenges through high school.  We’ve talked a bit but I’m sure she has many more cringe worthy stories. The teenage years are rough. Enter college and…well, we all know that health and fitness are not a priority for most. 

But, through talks and positive influence, we made it less about “skinny” and more about “healthy”, I think when you put it in that perspective, it becomes a little easier. What do you want your quality of life to be when you get older? (Cuz you’re gonna get older)…What is your motivation for being healthy? Being able to dance all night at the clubs? Keep up with the hiking group? Running after a toddler? What? The minute you define WHY you want to be healthy, that’s when you can begin to make permanent change.

Here is our beautiful, confident, sassy daughter (both then and now), feeling and looking so healthy. This didn't happen overnight, ...30 pounds were lost over the course of a year. She had her ups and downs, she stuck with a plan. She didn't use potions or pills, she ate healthier and moved more. This is what 22 should be. This is what every age should be. You have the power to take control.

Cheers to you and your journey...It's a marathon, not a sprint. Smell the roses! 

Tonight I ate a Cannoli...Take 2...

This post was going to outline 7 tips for staying on track while allowing yourself to indulge once in a while...but I hit writers block. Earlier tonight, while soliciting ideas on what to write about, my husband suggested writing about balancing a schedule...I was going for balancing a diet.

Thank you CDYC for
sending Ian a beautiful
cookie arrangement
including this Cannoli! 

But he knows I write for real people, and he knows my educated audience knows that if you plan sensible, low cal meals for the day, you can have a freaking cannoli once in a while. So what about balancing a schedule?

I work full time (and then some) for a non-profit where I'm responsible for raising over 1/2 million dollars each year. I teach fitness classes 3 times per week. I coach 7 (and counting) clients each week to help them achieve their wellness goals. Outside of work (and most importantly) I am a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend. I am a hairdressers client, a pet owner (2 dogs, a cat and a bearded dragon), I manage our family's finances and I make our son's doctors and dentists appointments. SOUND FAMILIAR???? I could go on...and on...and on....

I'm sure most of you reading this could add so much more as well...you're the cook of the house (I do weekend meals), you do the laundry (all you have to do is turn your husband's white shirt pink one time and you'r off the hook), you clean (ok, that's 50/50 in our home), run errands, food shop, etc, etc, etc...so when do you get time for you? How do you balance out your needs and wants?

You make it. You demand it. You deserve it. My hubby knows that I am a much better (and more tolerable) person all around when I have balance. I made that clear very early on, but for those that need to set things straight, I don't think it's too late, here are 7 ways to balance your needs against what's needed from you:

1. Demand it - I'm not saying to be an all out biotch...but you have to be strong when it comes to letting your friends, family and loved ones know that you need space and time to be you! Whatever "you" is...
2. Be Genuine - when its time to take care of yourself, the people around you want you to be happy. Express your needs and desires and you may be surprised at their support.
3. Just do it - Sometimes you have to rip the band-aid...make that spa appointment with your girlfriends and then figure out who's going to take care of the kids!
4. Stop feeling guilty - Seriously, I know...we don't want to miss the first, last, only milestone of our children's lives...but this is your life too...it's OK to enjoy it.
5. Say NO - Hardest thing ever! Start by turning your "maybe" into a "no"....
6. Don't smile all the time - This goes back to #2, if you're not happy, it's ok not to pretend to be. Talk about it, do something about it.
7. Be sure you're doing 1 thing that makes you very happy - For me this was starting my wellness business last year. As hard as it is and as much work as it takes, I know that what I am doing is and will make a difference in peoples lives. I also know that it will make a difference in my family's lives.

I am grateful to have the support, love and patience from a partner that is by my side through all of my in-decisions, bad decisions and insecurities. Find, DEMAND your balance.

Cheers!

Meredith

www.primalwellnesscoach.com

  

Redefining the word "Selfish"!

Hey! How are you all? How was your week? Mine? Better! For those of you who follow my blog or at least had the opportunity to read it last week, we are definitely on the mend. What a difference a week makes. If you are a bit lost, please go back and read my last post, "The definition of a challenge; Not the post you may be expecting..."

Flowers from my sister-in-law.
Partially eaten by my cat!
(non-poisonous, I checked)

Today I am addressing the word SELFISH.  I often tell my students, clients and friends that SELFISH is not a bad word, in fact, it's a necessity.

According to Merriam-Wester (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/selfish), the simple definition of selfish is "having or showing concern only for yourself and not for the needs or feelings of other people". But there is nothing simple about this word and I took a deeper look at the meaning.

Among the synonyms found for the word selfish are self-loving and self-interested. Related words include self-directed, self-important and self-satisfied.  This is the definition I’m referring to when I talk about this word.

What does this definition (my definition) really mean and how do we give it perspective?

• It means give to yourself as much as you give to others.
• Carve out time for you.
• Love yourself (a hard one for many).
• Get rid of the guilty feelings of not being there for someone else in order to re-fuel yourself.

Do this, not at the expense of others, but for the benefit of you so you can be there for others. Think about the example you will be setting for your children, loved ones and friends. Know you are worthy. Self-love is non-negotiable.

Here’s a quick analogy that you may have heard: If you’ve been on a flight you’ve witnessed the flight attendant going through the safety precautions. She or he tells us that if there is a drop in cabin pressure to be sure to fasten the oxygen mask around ourselves before helping others…it’s that simple…take care of yourself so you can take care of others.
    

Of course this is easier said than done depending on what is going on in our lives, but fortunately, we get to make the choice most of the time. I truly believe this. I live it.

Till next week,
Be healthy, be well,
Meredith
www.primalwellnesscoach.com

The definition of a challenge; Not the post you may be expecting...

I'm not sure where I'm going to end up with this post, but I'm going to start typing and hopefully by the end there will be a message for you all. If not, my bad. And, this post may not appeal to all of you, if this is the case, move on...please come back for wellness tips next week.

We had a challenge thrown our way this week. The kind that kicks you in the stomach, makes you fall backwards and stares you in the face waiting to see if you'll get up. As simple as I can make it, our 17 year old son had an unfortunate accident and had to have surgery to repair a broken femur.

Because both my son and I suffer from a rare genetic bone disease, osteogenesis imperfecta, our motto tends to be, "bones heal"...we realize that so many others are faced with their own challenges and we never seek pity. But it is, for lack of a better phrase, a huge pain in the ass. It interrupts plans and goals and it makes you feel way too vulnerable.

Ian, May 2015

Over the course of 4 nights in the hospital, my husband and I watched our son endure uncontrolled muscle spasms that lasted until he was surgically fixed. We watched him get violently ill after the surgery - a side effect of anesthesia. We felt for him each time a nurse walked in and asked him annoying (but necessary) questions about bodily functions. We watched the terror on his face as they started talking about a catheter 12 hours post op and still no pee. We noticed his white lips and later found out he lost so much blood during surgery that he needed a transfusion. We watched him move like the frailest old man as he attempted getting out of bed. The worst thing about all of this, there was nothing we could do.

At first it was a disbelief. I remember for a moment in the ER when I said to myself, "wake up"...and I waited. (you see, I have these dreams from time to time). I felt sad, sorrow, mad and defeated. I felt guilty, lonely and helpless.

And then I got my shit together. I allowed myself to feel all of those negative emotions (and rightly so) but knew that I needed to pull myself together for me, my son and the rest of my world that was relying on me, (my husband, my daughter, my extended family, my job, my fitness business and my clients, etc...).

I've read a few different definitions of the word challenge, and the one that stuck out most, is "dare". I felt dared this week. I felt like I was being tested and how I reacted and what I felt determined my strength. Our situations are just that, situations. They are not what dictate how we feel or how we act. They may dare us, but it is up to us to dare them back, take on the duel and fight with all we have. We must know that our attitude and frame of mind determines our happiness.

I am thankful I can control my attitude and frame of mind, which in turn controls my thoughts and how I feel. With a bit of a healing road ahead, it will be filled with hope and optimism. After all, defeat is not an option.

I'm curious, when life throws you a challenge, or dare, what do you do?

To a better week ahead,
Be healthy, be well,
Meredith
www.primalwellnesscoach.com

We've wrapped up 2015; Now what?

Hey from me and my kitty from our comfy couch!

Walter has big goals
for 2016...more nap time

Happy New Year! Are you excited? Have you set your goals?  You know this was my main message in December. If you don't have something to work towards, you can't draw your map!

Before we leap int 2016 (and you're going to want to prepare yourself for some pretty hardcore messaging going forward) I want to put a quick wrap up on our December challenge, here's what we the last few challenges looked like:

• Day 27 - Eliminate sugar
• Day 28 - Climb 10 flights of stairs
• Day 29 - Eat a Super Food
• Day 30 - Write down your yearly goals
• Day 31 - Give me feedback

I hope you had a little fun with the challenge and when I send out my survey, I hope you give me good feedback to make future challenges fun, achievable and rewarding.

On to 2016...I'm super excited to have launched my at home, coach assisted 6 week health program. I'm only taking on 10 clients at a time to ensure I am able to give as much attention to my clients as possible. 

In a nut shell, this program is for those that know what to do and how to do it, but need that extra push, motivation, accountability and habit forming guidance that I can give. For more information you can visit my website at www.primalwellnesscoach.com.  

Look forward to more meaty posts focused on real life challenges, inspiration and motivation with a little humor mixed in. 

In the mean time,

Be healthy, be well,

Meredith